Thursday 19 March 2015

Being Superwoman

Hello beautiful earthlings~

This  post is not travel or beauty or food related.  This post is something personal that I want to share with you beautiful earthlings.  You have the choice to close the tab you're in right now or continue reading.  I pray constantly that God will use me as His instrument to bring happiness and inspiration to others and to let me show people the love God has for us.  I hope that you find happiness, inspiration in this post and most importantly I pray that you may feel God's unconditional love for you.

As the photo and title suggest, this post is being or trying to be Superwoman by another superwoman wannabe A.K.A. ME!

You see, I want to become a superwoman.  I wanted (and still do) to do everything and do well in every aspect of what I do from being a student, an employee, future career woman, daughter, sister and friend.  I was never really the "I-MUST-BE-BETTER-IN-EVERYTHING" (Let's abbreviate this as IMBBIE) type of girl.  I did not care but being one of the top students last year in my class brought so much happiness and pride to my parents.  That feeling stuck with me.  Nothing beats the feeling of making your parents so proud of you.  I let that feeling drive me into becoming this IMBBIE person.  I wanted to make my parents happy and proud of me.  I wanted to compensate the years of doing so bad in college for three years to being one of the top now.

There is nothing wrong in wanting to become a superwoman in every aspect of what you do in life (well, that is what I would like to think).  I wanted to fulfil the roles I mentioned above in a superwoman level 99 way that I forgot to be a superwoman in the number 1 role I have in this life: a  daughter of God.  How come I forgot? You see I thought that by trying to become like Superwoman or any awesome heroine in a Final Fantasy game, I would become invincible.  I thought I would not tire at all.  But boy I was wrong,  Unlike any strong female video game character (I wish I was though cause they're so pretty), I am human.

"To err is human."  - Alexander Pope

Unlike Superwoman who has no known weakness, I have a couple of my own and I make so many mistakes.  First, I am very temperamental.  Another is that I have this bad habit of not saying no to people.  I want to please the people around me and because of my superwoman mentality, I thought I'd have all the energy in the world to do all the favours people ask of me, to do well in college and do well at work and be a filial daughter to my parents to be an awesome sister and friend. This then put so much pressure on me.  And one of my biggest weakness is NEVER telling people what I really feel especially when I feel something negative.

This overwhelmed me so much that I felt like I was about to break.  Our sistar Bianca saw my tweets and said that it is IMPOSSIBLE becoming superwoman or any other fictional heroine.  We are human, we tire all the time.  I was so tired at the end of the day that I did not have the energy to even pray.  How bad was that?!  How can I not have a conversation with the One who created me?  How can I not pray to the One who died on the Cross for me to be saved?!  But it did happen.   I became unhappy that my sisters Nikki and Steffi and even my mom noticed it and asked if I was going through depression.

I realized why becoming a superwoman two/three weeks ago did not work for me and made me unhappy.  It was because I did not pray for it.  Nowadays, no matter how exhausted I am, I try to force myself to walk to and from college/work everyday because it is the only quiet time I'd get to have a one-on-one with God.  For the past week, I have been praying to become a superwoman in terms of being a filial daughter of God, a filial daughter to my parents, a loving sister to my siblings, a hard working student, a hard working staff at work and career woman.  For the past week, the weight of the world on my shoulder has lighten a bit.  It is still a challenge at times but it became better.

I don't know if you are still with me in this post but basically what I'm trying to say to all my fellow superwoman wannabes is that it is okay to take off your sexy, superwoman heels and take a breather and just do things that relaxes you or do nothing but rest.  Also, know that prayers make things better.  It might not get better instantly but it will happen in God's perfect timing.

"I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:13

I hope your head is not hurting from all the words I have written but I have this feeling that God wants me to share my story.   To my fellow superwoman wannabes, may you find the strength to continue being awesome. God loves you so much so don't forget to thank Him today.

Peace & Love!

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